Sixteen Years Ago

Sixteen years ago....I was barely twenty. I was very single and I was very pregnant.

Sixteen years ago last weekend a tornado hit Powell & Lenoir City. I was again very pregnant and living in my mom's trailer. Storms don't scare me they excite me because I know God is in control. I looked outside and watched the rain come down in sheets almost sideways. I listened to try and hear the twister. It hit the trailer park down the road from ours. It was very surreal to drive around after the storm had passed to see the damage it had caused. I was filled with awe. Jay & I were not dating but I find it interesting that he lived in Lenoir City and I lived in Powell. Tornadoes don't often hit in the TN Valley.


Wow, it has been 16 yrs!


Sixteen years ago this coming Friday a major blizzard hit. Before the snow came I went to the OBGYN for my regular weekly check and he said I was dilated 3 cm's. Mom told me I wasn't allowed to give birth. Needless to say I waited a week later.

It's Like Pulling Teeth

Kat wiggling her loose tooth.

Okay I know you have heard that saying..."It's like pulling teeth." Well that has a whole new meaning for the Tidwell household. Here is the beginning...

Back in November during a rehearsal for the Christmas musical at our church our daughter Kathryn accidentally got headbutted during the practice bow. She became hysterical as only our Kat can. We finally calmed her down and the tooth was loose but not ready to come out by any means. Well the adult tooth came in behind the loose tooth. She looked so cute. You could see the bulge of the tooth when she closed her lips.

Now, it is March and her tooth has been very loose for about 3 months. I kept telling her to wiggle it and pull it out. Well she started playing with it this last week. She would blow on the tooth to make it wiggle and then laugh. That got old! Jay told her that he was going to pull it out. She kept stalling and saying that she was not ready. (Now keep in mind this tooth is hanging on by a little piece of skin!)

Both Jay & I got tired of it and this past Sunday we had enough. It was a nice day and she wanted to go out and play with her friends but Jay said that the tooth needed out first. She cried and screamed, "But I am not ready!" First I tried to hold her while Jay pulled her tooth but she would not stop screaming and crying and she would not open her mouth. Then we went to the bathroom because she wanted to look at it. Again she would not open her mouth and continued to cry & scream. So, I said that I was going to get the pliers and left the bathroom. I was so furious with her. It's just a tooth and it is just hanging on by a thread! She locked the door so I could not get in. I heard Jay calmly try to talk to her and convince her that the tooth had to come out. She started screaming "but I'm scared!" Jay asked of what? She said "that it will hurt!" Meanwhile, I got the pliers and stood outside the door half infuriated and half laughing. My son, Josh was sitting in the living room laughing and shaking his head. The windows were opened and I wondered if anyone was going to call DHHR on us for child abuse since she sounded like we were killing her. Her friends were outside laughing. I unlock the door and she screams "she's coming with the pliers!" and "I'm scared of it hurting!" I open the door and I look at her. I pinch her arm not hard but enough to hurt a little and she said "ouch that hurt!" I told her that now she doesn't have to be scared of the pain of the tooth being pulled. She didn't buy it. I gave Jay the pliers and left the room because I was too angry and Jay is better at keeping his cool around Kat. Finally he got tired of her dodging and flicked the tooth with his fingers and it just fell out.

It took about 2 hours of her screaming and crying and carrying on. It makes me think this must be how God feels when we do the same thing if He is asking something of us that we don't like or don't want to do. Please know that I love Kat with all my heart but she is so headstrong and stubborn that she gets carried away with fear that makes no sense. Yep, that saying takes new meaning for us here at the Tidwell house.

FROG It!

A dear friend of mine recently told me that God has been working on her. She told me that she is learning to fully rely on God. So with my mind the way it is I could not help but picture a frog. Yes, I know I get distracted easily. I can’t help it. :-) Anyways, what does it mean to be a FROG? In times like these how do we do it? Well for one thing you need to have faith in Him.

This past Sunday our pastor spoke about relying on God in the midst of a storm. In Matthew 8:23-27 there was a ‘furious storm’ that came ‘without warning’ while Jesus and the disciples were on a boat. Here Jesus is sleeping soundly and the disciples are freaking out. When woken up by the disciples Jesus tells them they have little faith and He asks them why they are so afraid. Then He rebukes the wind & waves and the storm is gone just as suddenly as it began. I believe to Fully Rely on God we need to be like Jesus. No, I don’t mean rebuke the wind & waves (though that isn’t a bad idea either.) I mean to be able to sleep soundly knowing full and well that everything is in God’s capable hands. That is having faith. Satan would like nothing better than to feed our minds with worry, doubt and fear of what the possibilities of our situation could be or what new storm might rise up. But as one of my favorite movies (I still need to read the book) says “Don’t Panic!”

The storms in life are inevitable. They will happen and they can be very unpredictable. Now we can fret and worry about what the storms might be or how we are going to get though our current storm or we can FROG it. Now that isn’t easy but one step to help you on your journey to Frogdom is this scripture:

5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

My prayer for you and for myself is that we continuously take captive our thoughts and make them obedient to Christ. I ask that you pray this for me too.

Happily Ever After?

We live in a culture that is infatuated with Happily Ever After. I remember dreamily watching Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and many other movies wishing for my prince charming. I feel sorry for men today! What kind of expectations have we made them have to live up to? According to the story line they are to be handsome, charming, know our every need and sweep us off our feet. No wonder there is so much disrespect for the male of our species! They can’t get a break. Now don’t get me wrong even though I claim to not be a mushy girlie movie watcher I still end up watching Lifetime Movie Network or Hallmark with tissues. They are great stories but they are fiction! Men are fallible just as we are. Do not try to make your husband to be perfect. That will lead to you disrespecting him, maybe even demeaning him.

We need a reality check. The only perfect man the ever has been, was, is and will ever be is Jesus. Period. If you are looking for your spouse to be that then you will be let down and they will be crushed with the responsibility of unrealistic expectations. When was the last time you thanked him for his work? His fathering? His love-making? His just being there? For choosing you? Has he made mistakes? Have you? Think about it this way, his parents were not perfect so he is just doing the best he can with what he learned from growing up.

I guess I am writing this because I have seen too many divorces recently. I have seen too many wives disrespecting their husbands behind their backs, with their children present, and even to their faces. I have seen too many wives say that they want to leave their mate even though they have promised to love for better or worse, for richer or poorer! My heart aches. That doesn’t mean that I am immune. There have been times that I have talked bad about my husband to my friends and to my family. I have learned that all that does is feed the monster of discontent. Your family & friends will only encourage you to leave if they think you will be happier but what does God say?

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails.

Matthew 5:43-44 43"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

So if love is all these things and we are supposed to even love our enemies shouldn’t we love our spouses too? Love is not a feeling. If it were then every marriage would end in divorce very quickly. Marriage is not a walk in the park. When we said our vows our eyes were glazed over with the romance of it all. Once life hits you a choice has to be made. Am I going to choose to love? Love is a choice. Love is an action. Jesus demonstrated that by an action. He died for us. How are you willing to demonstrate it to your husband? Show him that you love him!

To Know Me More...

...keep reading. I've been tagged by my friend, Melissa @ Musings of a Multi-Tasking Mama. You get to learn the following things about me- I know your inquiring minds were dying to know so I decided not to keep you in suspense any longer ;p

6 Things I Value:
1. My relationship with Jesus.
2. My husband.
3. My children.
4. The Bible.
5. My Church.
6. Music.

6 Things I Support:
1. Healthy marriages.
2. Pro-Life.
3. Prayer in schools.
4. Anyone in the Mission Field.
5. Capitalism & competition.
6. Republicans.

6 Things I Do Not Support:
1. Socialism.
2. Pro-choice...the choice is whether or not to have sex. People know the risks and only abstinence is 100% effective. Who are we to play God saying because of the circumstances that caused the pregnancy the unborn child should not exist. Isn't God the maker and creator? Doesn't He know best? (Sorry, big passion of mine. :) )
3. The so-called tolerance that is being tossed around that seems to exclude Christianity in our schools and our government.
4. Democrats. (though I will pray for our government leaders)
5. Terrorists.
6. Passive aggressive personalities.

6 People I Tag:
Well, I don't read very many blogs so I have three:
1. Jay (my hubby) with Just Jay's Journal.
2. My good friends, Don & Lori at Never a Dull Moment.
3. Josh at Playground of the Mind.

I would love to know these things about the following bloggers so hopefully they will play along (if they want to) and then let me know when they have posted so I can come read.

What is in store for 2009?

Okay, I know it has been a long time since I have posted. December was a very busy time for my family and me. So now on to Jan 2009...

What is in store for the Tidwell’s in 2009? What goals do I wish to accomplish? Do I have any resolutions?

Well first, Jay & I are trying to refinance the mortgage. We are waiting right now for the appraisal. If everything goes smoothly we will be able to pay off our debt and cancel our credit cards. (Because we have gotten out of debt so many times just to head right back in there.) Then we are going on a cash budget. If the refinancing doesn’t work we are going to have to find some extra income. Either Jay will get a new job or a second job or I will get a part-time job. We are continuously praying for God’s guidance and wisdom no matter what happens.

Personally, I don’t like to make resolutions but I do make goals. Goals that are not impossible to accomplish. One goal of mine is to guard my mouth. I tend to talk a bunch. It is part of my personality and sometimes I will say something that I shouldn’t or I will give out too much information. I am asking God to help me to control the flow of words that come out of my mouth. I have to curb my enthusiasm and that is very difficult so I ask that y’all pray for me in this.

My other personal goal is to lose 15 pounds. Back in 2005, I weighed over 200 lbs. (see picture) It took 10 months and lots of discipline but I reached my goal and lost 65 lbs. Well, I have been lax in my eating habits this last year and I have slowly gained 15 lbs back. I am praying the God give me the self discipline to eat in moderation and to exercise every other day so that I can reach my goal. I think it is better I take control now before I go back to the 200 plus pounds where I was before. Since I have lost the weight Jay likes to say that he married his trophy wife first.

In ministry, the Twogether Marriage Ministry has already been busy for this year. We bought the license to have a Fireproof Movie Event. We showed the movie at our church on Friday January 9th. About 140 people showed up to see the movie. Jay & I were able to give a small testimony about how God has worked in our marriage after the movie. We have been asked to show it again since several people did not get to come so we are planning another movie event in the near future.

We are going to Family Life's Weekend to Remember on Feb 20-22 at Lansdowne resort in VA. We hope to bring many couples to this conference. Jay & I have been to 7 of them. It is a wonderful tool to help a hurting marriage and to grow and strengthen a healthy one.

There are so many other things we are doing (or I should say God is doing) in our marriage ministry and in our lives. So I will try to keep y’all posted. I hope and Pray the 2009 is a very blessed year for everyone!